In Talking to the Moon, I share the moment when a rift that had begun within me led to a life I had always believed to be impossible. It is when I discovered that I was free to choose my own destiny and fought against almost everything I had ever known in Russia, my home country, to reach a point where it was I, not someone else, who directed my life.
Elena finished reading Meg’s letter. She stared at the screen. She remembered the photographs she sent. Sharing her life with Meg, an alien from another world, was a big occasion for her. Last August, she and Dmitry had gone on an all-inclusive to Turkey. It was the very first time Elena had been outside of Russia. She sent Meg photos of Turkish sights and ruins, because she couldn’t conceive of anyone being interested in her. She had been indoctrinated to think herself worthless by default. That her value was only as a vestige of a man, as a trophy. Meg’s words, that she wanted to see photos of Elena and know her better, knocked down the house of cards Elena had lived in all her life.
Trying to sleep was pointless. How could she plough a straight course to a hopeless future now, as if she was blind to what was happening to her? Meg’s letter made her see so much, to question her life, her world and its doctrines.
Elena looked out the window. None of what she saw spoke to her. Her mind was too far away, already seeing possibilities, opportunities and experiences.
Under the covers, Elena realized happiness did exist! Happiness was just that, what she was experiencing now! It was the freedom to think, to want, to love herself and the world around her. Elena was full of joy. Her mind was racing. She started to see a completely new image of the world and her future. It didn’t have to be awful. It didn’t have to destroy her. Her future could be what she wanted it to be. She had the means to determine it! She was an individual, and she was capable. All of it was in Meg’s letter!